ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS

 

ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS

One should not ask his friends about affairs that they do not want to reveal and when he sees them, he must not say: "Where are you going?" for it might be that they do not wish to tell. One must keep their secrets even if the ties have been broken.


Book: The Refinement Of Character

By Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī

Translated and Published by Dār as-Sunnah Publishers

P. 68

[To read this text in Spanish language, click here]

AN INTELLIGENT PERSON DOES NOT REVEAL A SECRET

 AN INTELLIGENT PERSON DOES

 NOT REVEAL A SECRET

It is narrated that one of the pious once wanted to divorce his wife. When he was asked: 'What makes you dislike her?' He said: 'An intelligent person does not reveal a secret.' When he had divorced her he was asked: 'What made you divorce her?' His reply was: 'I do not wish to talk about a woman that is not mine.'

Book: The Refinement Of Character 

By Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī 

Translated and Published by 

Dār as-Sunnah Publishers 

P. 32

[To read this text in Spanish language click here]

IF A STUDENT IS TOO PROUD

 

IF A STUDENT IS TOO PROUD

Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī said:

"Let him leave his personal opinion for the opinion of his teacher, for a teacher's error benefits the student more than his own correctness."*

(*) The student should show the teacher his mistake with wisdom and fine preaching. This is one of the principles of our monotheistic religion. 

Book: The Inner Secret Of Worship 

By Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī 

Translated from the original arabic 

Dār as-Sunnah Publishers 

P. 32

REMEMBERING ALLĀH BEFORE SLEEPING AND UPON WAKING UP

 REMEMBERING ALLĀH BEFORE

 SLEEPING AND UPON WAKING UP 

One should do his best to ensure that his last words before sleeping are remembrance of Allāh Most High and the first words that his tongue utters upon waking up are remembrance of Allāh Most High. These two are a sign of faith (imān). 

Book: The Inner Secret Of Worship 

By Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī 

Translated from the original arabic 

Dār as-Sunnah Publishers 

P. 111

[To read this text in Spanish Language click here]

A DINĀR YOU SPENT ON YOUR FAMILY

 A DINĀR YOU SPENT ON YOUR FAMILY

One should only refrain from marriage if he fears that he might not be able to fulfill her rights. Bearing the burden of wife and children is like jihād in Allāh's path.

It occurs in the collection of Muslim that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: 

"A dinār you spent in Allāh's path, a dinār you spent to free a slave, a dinār you gave as charity to a poor person, and a dinār you spent on your family- the best of them is the one you spent on your family." *

* Muslim #995 on the authority of Abū Hurayrah (radiyAllāhu'anhu)

Book: The Refinement Of Character 

By Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī 

Translated and Published by 

Dār as-Sunnah Publishers 

P. 23

[To read this text in Spanish Language click here]

THOSE WHO ONLY MEMORISE THEIR GOOD DEEDS

 

THOSE WHO ONLY MEMORISE THEIR GOOD DEEDS 

And of the people are those who actually think that their acts of obedience are more than their acts of disobedience, due to memorising their good deeds and not memorising their bad deeds. This is like one who seeks Allāh's forgiveness and praises Him a hundred times a day yet spends most of the day backbiting others. Such a person will look at the merits of tasbīh and istighfār yet will not look at the punishment for backbiting (ghība). 

Book: Discipline: The Path To Spiritual Growth 

By Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī

Translated and Published by 

Dār as-Sunnah Publishers 

P. 159, 160

[To read this text in Spanish Language click here]

ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS

 

ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS 

One should not ask his friends about affairs that they do not want to reveal and when he sees them, he must not say: "Where are you going?" for it might be that they do not wish to tell. One must keep their secrets even if the ties have been broken and must never revile one's loved ones and family. If someone speaks ill about them, he must not convey that to him.

Book: The Refinement Of Character 

By Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī 

Translated and Published by 

Dār as-Sunnah Publishers 

P. 68

THE REALITY OF FEAR

THE REALITY OF FEAR

Know that fear is a pain and burning in the heart caused by the anticipation of receiving harm in the future. The example of it is like a person who has committed a crime against a king, and then fell into his hands. So he would fear being killed, while considering the possibility that he may be pardoned. But the pain in his heart would he according to:

1. The level of his knowledge of the cause that would lead to his execution
2. The enormity of his crime
3. Its impact upon the king

The weaker these causes are, the less he would fear. It may also be that fear be caused by other than a crime. It could be based on (knowing) the attributes of the one who is feared, his majesty and greatness. One may learn that if Allāh were to destroy the heavens and earth, he would not have concern, and nothing could stop Him from that. Thus a person's fear is according to his realisation of his own faults, and the greatness of Allāh and His freedom from any need, and that He is not asked about what He does.

The most fearful of people is the one who is most knowledgeable of himself and his Lord, and this is why the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "I am the most knowledgeable of you regarding Allāh, and the one who fears Him the most among you." *

* Bukhārī, #4776 and Muslim, #1401

Book: Ranks Of The Fearful ('Al-Khawf Haqiqatihi Wa Bayan Darajatihi')

By Shaykh al-Islām Muwaffaq al-Dīn Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī (d. 620 AH)
Translated by Yousef Hussin
Dār as-Sunnah Publishers
P. 18, 19

SERVING THE HOME TO THE BEST OF HER ABILITY

 بسم الله و الحمد لله ، والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله ، وعلى آله وصحبه ومن تولاه وبعد   

Chapter Two: On the Ethics of Marriage

SERVING THE HOME TO THE BEST OF HER ABILITY 

A woman should sit at home and stay with her spindle. She should not talk much with the neighbours and should stay away from people a lot when her husband is absent. She must protect him in his presence and absence and seeks to make him happy at all times. She does not betray him when it comes to herself or when it comes to his property and must not let anyone he dislikes set foot in the house or anyone else either without his permission. Let her worry about her own condition and taking care of the household by serving the home to the best of her ability. She should put her husband's rights before her own rights and the rights of all her relatives. 

Book: The Refinement Of Character 
By Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī 
Translated and Published by 
Dār as-Sunnah Publishers 
P. 33

كتاب مختصر منهاج القاصدين

 وينبغى للمرأة أن تكون قاعدة فى بيتها، لازمة لمغزلها، قليلة الكلام لجيرانها، كثيرة الانقباض حالة غيبة زوجها، تحفظه غائباً وحاضراً، وتطلب مسرّته فى جميع الأحوال، ولا تخونه فى نفسها ولا فى ماله، ولا تُوطئ فراشه من يكره، ولا تأذن فى بيته إلا باذنه، ولتكن همتها صلاح شأنها وتدبير بيتها، قائمة بخدمة الدار فى كل ما أمكنها، ولتكن مُقَدَّمة لحق زوجها على حق نفسها وحق جميع أقربائها. 

Early years upon the Manhaj Salaf

Early years upon the Manhaj Salaf

Ibn Qudamah

Mukhtasar Minhaaj Al-Qaasideen

The child is taught to not boast in front of his friends and peers about something that his parents own, or to boast regarding his food and clothes. Rather he is nurtured upon modesty and being kind and generous to whomsoever he has a relationship with. And he is to be prevented from taking something from another child like him. He should be taught that inferiority is in taking and that superiority and dignity is in giving. And he should be made to not like gold and silver.

He is to be prohibited from spitting in gatherings, blowing his nose, yawning in front of others, and from sitting with his legs pointed, one on top of the other.

He should also be accustomed to speaking little and should not speak except when answering a question or fulfilling a request. He should also master the skill of listening well, when others are speaking especially if the one speaking is older than him. He is to be taught to stand for the one who has authority over him and to sit close to, next to, or in front of such a person.

He is to be prevented from lewd speech and that he keeps company with those who use such speech – for indeed the foundation of protecting a child lies in keeping him away from bad friends.

It is also from good practice that when the child finishes from his studying that he is allowed to play in a good way, so that he is able to relax from the difficulty and strictness of learning and discipline. It is has been said,

‘Relax the heart and mind; strengthen the memorisation and intellect.’

The child should be cultivated upon obedience towards his parents and towards the one who educates him, and he should revere such people.

Thereafter, when he reaches the age of seven years, he is to be ordered with the Salaah (obligatory prayers), and he is not to be excused from not being in a state of purity (by knowing the wudhu, and remaining in this state) so that he becomes used to it. He should also be reprimanded from lying and deceit, and then when he approaches puberty he should be taught the various rulings of Islaam and be made responsible for them.

You should know that food is a type of medicine and the objective behind eating is to strengthen the body in order to show obedience of Allah, the most High, through worship. This Dunya (worldly life) will not remain forever and death cuts off the pleasures of this world. Death awaits each person and may arrive any hour. The intelligent one, therefore, is the one who prepares for the Aakhirah (the Hereafter).

Hence, if the upbringing of the child is righteous then this will all become firm in his heart – similar to how an engraving becomes very firm on a stone.

Sahl Ibn Abdullah once said, “I was a child of three years, and I would stay awake at night looking at my uncle, Muhammed bin Sawwaar, praying. So he said to me one day, “why don’t you remember Allah, the one who created you?”

So I asked, “and how do I remember Him?”

He replied, “Say, three times in your heart without moving your tongue: Allah is with me, Allah is watching over me, Allah is a witness over me.”

I then said this a number of nights until I became accustomed to this. He then said to me, “say it eleven times every night.”

So I said it, and I felt the sweetness of this statement in my heart.

A year on from this, my uncle said to me “Memorise and safeguard what I have taught you, and act according to it up until you enter your grave”

So I continued acting upon these words for years and I would find the sweetness of it in my privacy.

He then said, “O Sahl, whomsoever Allah is with, and He watches him and is a witness over him – do you think such a person should disobey Allah? Beware of disobeying Allah.”

After this, I advanced to school and memorised the Qur’aan when I was only six or seven years old. I would then fast all the time, my daily sustenance was bread made from barley and thereafter I would wake during the night in order to pray.

WHEN A BAD THOUGHT COMES TO YOU ABOUT A MUSLIM

WHEN A BAD THOUGHT COMES

 TO YOU ABOUT A MUSLIM

When a bad thought comes to you about a Muslim you have to increase in supplicating good for him as that angers Shaytān and averts him from you and he will not present to you a bad thought due to your preoccupation with supplication (du'ā)

Book: Discipline: The Path To Spiritual Growth
By Imām Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī
Translated and Published by
Dār as-Sunnah Publishers
P. 58

[To read this text in Spanish click here]

One of The Basis of Mutual Rivalry and Envy In The Dunyaa: [O Brothers and Sisters! Let’s Do Whatever We Can to Flee From This Calamity]

One of The Basis of Mutual Rivalry and Envy In 

The Dunyaa: [O Brothers and Sisters! Let’s Do 

Whatever We Can to Flee From This Calamity]

Imaam Ibn Qudaamah [rahimahullaah] said:

In most cases envy occurs between contemporaries, peers, brothers and cousins, because of the conflicting goals [or aims] of everyone which lead to discord and enmity. And due to this, you will find a scholar envying another scholar, but he will not envy a worshipper; a worshipper envying another worshipper, but he will not envy a scholar; a trader envying another trader and a cobbler envying another cobbler etc… because they have conflicting goals [or aims]. The basis of this affair is due to love of the worldly things, for indeed the worldly things are restricted for those who compete for it; but as for the afterlife, there is no restriction within it, for indeed the one who loves knowledge and awareness of Allaah, knowledge and awareness regarding Allaah’s angels, Allaah’s Prophets and Allaah’s Mighty Dominion over the heavens and the earth, he will not envy others after being acquainted with these affairs, because they [i.e. those who are acquainted with these affairs] are not restricted by one another; rather one particular individual scholar is known by thousands of scholars and they rejoice due to the understanding he has.

This is why there is no envy between the scholars of the religion, because their aim is to acquire knowledge and awareness of Allaah [Glorified be He and free is He from all imperfection], which is a vast affair. Their [i.e. the upright scholars] goal is to acquire a high status in the sight of Allaah and that which Allaah has kept in the afterlife is unlimited, because Allaah’s loftiest blessing is the pleasure of meeting Him, which can neither be prevented nor restricted, nor can some competitors in the affair make it restricted for others; rather harmony increases as the competitors increase; but if wealth and status becomes the goal the scholars, they will envy one another.

The difference between knowledge and wealth is that wealth does not remain in the hands of one person; but as for knowledge, it settles in the heart of a scholar and in the heart of the one taught by the scholar, whilst still remaining in the heart of the scholar. Therefore, whoever contemplates on the Greatness of Allaah and His Mighty Dominion [i.e. by pondering upon what Allaah has created and the revelation He has sent down], it will become the greatest pleasure for him than every other blessing, because neither can he be prevented nor restricted in that. And he will not harbour any envy in his heart towards anyone, because if others were acquainted with what he is acquainted with, it will still not reduce his pleasure in the affair.

You do not find people overcrowding to view the beauty of the sky because it is vast and unrestricted; therefore, if you are merciful to yourself, then it is obligated on you to seek after a bliss in whose path there is no obstruction and a pleasure that will not cease [i.e. the competition for this worldly life is restricted for its competitors and will come to an end, whereas the afterlife is unrestricted]. And this cannot be found in this worldly life, except by acquainting oneself with knowledge and awareness of Allaah and the amazing nature of His Dominion [over everything].

However, if you do not yearn to acquaint yourself with knowledge and awareness of Allaah and your desire is weak, then neither will you find it nor its pleasure. Therefore, you’re not man enough, because this affair is that of men, for indeed yearning for something occurs after experiencing [or tasting] it. The one who has not tasted will not know, the one who does know will not yearn, the one who does not yearn will not seek, the one who does not seek will not find [anything], and the one who does not find [anything] will be amongst those who are deprived.

Know that envy is a great disease of the hearts and the diseases of the hearts are not cured except with knowledge and action. The beneficial knowledge for curing envy is to know that in reality envy is harmful to your Religious and worldly affairs, and the envied one is neither harmed in his Religious nor worldly affairs; rather he is benefited by it. Blessings do not cease from the person you envy.

And even if you were not a believer in the resurrection, this would still have necessitated a realisation–if you are sensible–to be mindful of envy due to the pain it brings to the heart as well as [having] no benefit; then how about when you know of its punishment in the afterlife.

And the clarification of our statement: Indeed the envied one is neither harmed in his Religious nor worldly affairs, rather he is benefited by it in his Religious and worldly affairs: That is because the blessings Allaah has decreed for him will continue until the end of his lifespan and there is no harm upon him in the hereafter [due to being envied] because he has not committed any sin in that; rather he is benefited by it because he is someone receiving oppression from you, especially if the envy comes out through speech and action.

As for the benefit in the worldly life [i.e. the benefits of being envied], it is because the most important aim of the creation is [to witness] the grief of an enemy and there is no punishment greater than the [blameworthy] envy you find in yourself. If you contemplate on what we have mentioned, you will know that you are indeed an enemy to yourself– a friend of your enemy [within yourself].  Your likeness is nothing other than that of a person who threw a stone at his enemy to kill him, but he could not harm him and the stone bounced back on his right eye and plucked it out. So his anger increased and he -again- threw a stone harder than the first one, but it bounced back on his other eye and plucked it out. So his rage increased and he threw a third stone, but it bounced back on his head and broke it, whilst his enemy is safe and laughing at him. This is a knowledge base cure [for envy]. If a person reflects upon this, the inferno of envy will be extinguished from his heart.

As for beneficial action [to help cure envy], then it is to make binding upon oneself to destroy what envy commands one to do. If it arouses him towards hatred and defamation of the one who is envied, he should make it binding upon himself to praise and extol him. If it makes him arrogant, he should make it binding upon himself to be humble towards him [i.e. the one envied]; and if it makes him block favours from reaching him, he should make it binding upon himself to increase in giving him favours. And there were a group of the Salaf who whenever it reached them that a person backbit them, they would give him [i.e. the back bitter] a gift. These are very beneficial remedies for envy.


[To read this text in Spanish click here]

[An Excerpt from ‘Mukhtasar Minhaajil Qaasideen’ page: 199-201. slightly paraphrased]



 Taken from: https://salaficentre.com/2019/02/one-of-the-basis-of-mutual-rivalry-and-envy-in-the-dunyaa-o-brothers-and-sisters-lets-do-whatever-we-can-to-flee-from-this-calamity/

Today they are the most detestable people to us

Imam Ibn Qudamah al-Maqdisi said:

“Salaf used to love those who would inform them of their faults. Now, most detestable people to us are those who inform us of our faults.” 

Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qashidin pg.196

قال ابن قدامة المقدسي ( رحمه الله ) :

" وقد كان السلف يحبون من ينبههم على عيوبهم ، ونحن الآن - في الغالب - أبغض الناس إلينا من يعرف عيوبنا "

[ مختصر منهاج القاصدين ص196 ]

Fulfill her sexual desires...

Fulfill her sexual desires... 

Ibn Qudaamah رحمه الله said:

“It is recommended for the man to caress and fondle his wife prior to intercourse in order to arouse her so that she would get as much pleasure from intercourse as he does… And if he climaxes before her, it would be disliked for him to pull out until she climaxes… because that would otherwise cause her harm and prevent her from fulfilling her desires.”

[Al-Mughni, 8/136]

قال ابن قدامة المقدسي – رحمه الله - :

ويستحب أن يلاعِب امرأته قبل الجماع ؛ لتنهض شهوتُها ، فتنال من لذة الجماع مثل ما ناله ، وقد روي عن عمر بن عبد العزيز عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال

( لا تواقعها إلا وقد أتاها من الشهوة مثل ما أتاك لكيلا تسبقها بالفراغ ، قلت 

: وذلك إليَّ ؟ نعم إنك تقبِّلها ، وتغمزها ، وتلمزها ، فإذا رأيتَ أنه قد جاءها 

مثل ما جاءك : واقعتها ) .

فإن فرغ قبلَها : كُره له النزع حتى تفرغ ؛ لما روى أنس بن مالك قال : قال 


رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم :

( إذا جامع الرجل أهله فليصدقها ، ثم إذا قضى حاجته : فلا يَعجلها حتى 

تقضي حاجتها )

؛ ولأن في ذلك ضرراً عليها ؛ ومنعاً لها من قضاء شهوتها

" المُغني " ( 8 / 136 ) .