Sisters be patient with your Husbands
In the name of Allaah, the Beneficient, Most Merciful. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, companions and all those who follow them in goodness until the day of Return. As for what follows;
…”I’ve been with my husband (for a long time) and we’ve been through good times and bad times. We have six boys and four girls together not to mention those whom Allaah took their souls while they were young. However when he gets angry about something pertaining to the worldy-life whether it be in the home or outside of it, he says things to me that would cause ones hair to turn grey (all) without due right. Depsite that, I remain patient and say: “This is my husband and the father of my children and I’ll be rewarded for my patience (with him).”
Nevertheless the question that I wish to ask is that he says while angry: “Three words and you’ll be out the house” and repeats it three times. I do not know what those words (actually) are but it is known that they seperate a man from his wife. (Please) inform me about this mans speech and may Allaah reward you with good.”
Sheikh ‘Abdul ‘Azeez ibn Baaz , may Allaah have mercy upon him, says:
“We advise you with patience, ihtisaab (seeking reward from Allaah) and supplication for your husband. That Allaah grants him success and guides him so that he will guard his tongue from (saying) offensive words. Supplication is required for both men and women.
“And your Lord said: “Invoke Me, (and ask Me for anything) I will respond to your (invocation).”[40:60]
And He says:
“And when My slaves ask you concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor).”[2:186]
And you are appreciated for your patience and forbearance with this man who speaks rudely when he becomes angry.
(You should also) advise him when he is calm. Advise him with politeness and tenderness, not with yelling or the like from that which causes harm because you will suffer the consequences of that.
As for (him saying) “three words and that you’ll be out the house”, then this will not harm you at all as long as he doesn’t say anything. If he says “three words” it means that he’s only bluffing. Meaning straighten up your act or I am going to divorce you. This is the meaning of it however it will not do anything to you and you are not at fault.
Translated by Abu Fouzaan Qaasim , an American student studying in the Islaamic University of Medinah from Chester,PA.