THE BEST WELCOME
Oh sister, know that you will neither obtain lofty mannerisms nor a healthy marital life until you greet your husband like the greeting of the most gracious of hostesses to their guests. Be keen in rushing to welcome your husband upon entering the home with a warm embrace [as this shows you were looking forward to see him and hence makes him feel loved].
Kiss him with love and respect, a kiss of affection and enthusiastic desire. For this will cause him to have a strong bond with you, and in turn he will come to recognize your rights over him.
[Taken from “20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage”, p. 40-41]
Advice for married sisters
Based On Your Customs:
The common practices of the people have their benefit and rulings that apply to them. Whatever the people see as good, as long as it doesn’t oppose a command or prohibition of the Islamic Legislation. So with this in mind, the general customs of the people are made up certain mannerisms and behaviors which are not suitable for you to oppose in order to protect you and your husband from public scorn. There are many examples of this, varying based on time, place, and culture. There are certain things that people used to consider despicable, today people may deem them to be from lofty mannerisms. Likewise, there are certain marital practices that may be considered crimes by people who live in rural areas, while they are considered noble practices by city dwellers. Similarly, certain practices may be prohibited amongst certain tribes, but with other cultures and ethnicities it may be an established practice.
So look at what is considered noble behavior from the people of our time, place, and tribe and hold firm to it. Do not oppose it with false claims such as the freedom to behave as you wish. And perhaps from these practices that are agreed upon.
1. Avoid calling him by his first name. Rather, it is from good manners to call him by his Kunya, or with a name that he likes to hear from you such Oh my heart, oh my dear, and other than that.
2. Lower your voice when addressing him. It is bad manners for you to raise your voice when addressing your husband or criticizing him; and it is even worse if you are in the presence of others.
3. Not walking in front of him, except when there’s a need to do so. It is from good manners that you walk by his side or slightly behind him out of respect and honor for him.
4. Not burdening him with shopping for your personal female products. Although it is permissible, many people have grown accustom to disliking this practice.
5. Calm and peaceful behavior while guests are over. The typical custom of most people is that they dislike hearing loud noises coming from inside the house and from the cooking pans, especially while they are being served.
6. Shouting out and calling him around men. Even though your voice is not aowra ( those things that must be concealed from men, such as a women’s hair) based on that the most correct opinion, most people dislike hearing a women’s voice and are more comfortable with having her clap or knock on the door and other things similar to this. This is better etiquette.
7. Giving him the responsibility of carrying the child without the need, while outside the home. Although it is not impermissible legislatively, many people look down upon it
So with these types of customs judge yourself, in order to determine what are good etiquettes and practices ,then hold firm to them, not opposing them at all; because indeed for one to oppose that which has been established is against good manners
Taken from 20 Pieces of Advice to my Sister Before Her Marriage pages 76-78
Is There Repentance for the Homosexual?
Shaykh Muqbil Al-Wādi'ī رحمه الله
Question: Is there repentance for the homosexual?
Answer: False stories have been reported stating that if he were to bathe within the entire ocean he would not become pure and that there is no repentance for him. This is falsehood. Rather, Tawbah erases what was before it. If Allāh will accept the repentance of the polytheist then likewise, he who falls into Fāhishah or other than it from the lewd actions Allāh will accept his repentance. Allāh, the Glorified and Exalted said:
(وَإِنِّي لَغَفَّارٌ لِمَنْ تَابَ وَآمَنَ وَعَمِلَ صَالِحًا ثُمَّ اهْتَدَىٰ)
Indeed I am Oft-Forgiving of he who repents, has faith, works righteousness, and is guided. (Ta Ha 20:82)
Translated by Raha Ibn Donald Batts
Good Character at Home and Outside
Al-Allaamah Shaykh ibn Uthaymeen rahimahullaah said: "Unfortunately, many people are excellent in their behavior with the (general) people, however he does not have good character with his own family!"
[Kitaab al-Ilm, 185]
قال العلامه ابن عثيمين رحمه الله : وكثير من الناس مع الأسف الشديد يحسن الخلق مع الناس، ولكنه لا يحسن الخلق مع أهله ! —
[كتاب العلم ١٨٥]
0 comments Posted by أم حذيفة حياة لأندلسية at 21:43
The Ruling on Buying a House On Usury In the West
Question: May Allah be good to you Oh possessor of Virtue, the questioner says: A Muslim lives in the West and wants to buy a house because the rent there is very expensive. However, buying a house can not be completed except through the banks there and they work with usury. Question: Is it allowed to buy a house through the banks because he is forced to do that?
Answer: “No, usury is not allowed in any situation and it is not a necessity. Why not through a means that has no problem? Where is the necessity? If he wants to buy a house through a halal means, there is no harm even though buying a house in the lands of the disbelievers calls to gaining a visa and remaining there. However, buying a house is permissible with halal money. As for buying it through usury, then this is haram, not allowed, and there is no necessity for that because the halal means solves the problem. Allah did not permit usury in any situation. This is because Allah blessed the Muslims with the halal.
وَأَحَلَّ اللَّهُ الْبَيْعَ وَحَرَّمَ الرِّبا
Allah has permitted trading and forbidden Riba (usury)
Allah sufficed the Muslims with Halal. So he can obtain a house through halal [means] either renting or buying without usury or other than that of the means. Yes. May peace and blessings be upon the Prophet, his followers, and Companions”.
Claim Benefits if not needed
Question: Is social security/assistance allowed for the one who does not have a need for it?
Answer: “That which we know is that the government, may Allah facilitate for them, gives social security/assistance to the poor who do not have anything and who meet the conditions for taking it. And it is not for him to lie. Verily the one who is from its people can take social assistance and meets the desired conditions. As for the one who lies and claims to be poor or she claims that she does not have a husband and she has a husband and what resembles that, then he should not take that. The conclusion is that it is not allowed to take social assistance except the one who meets the conditions which the government has placed. This is obligatory. It is obligatory to fear Allah and be cautious of taking what is not allowed for him. And in Allah aid is sought”.
هل يجوز الضمان الاجتماعي لمن ليس فيه حاجة له؟
الذي نعلم أن الحكومة وفقها الله جعلت الضمان الاجتماعي للفقير الذي ليس له شيء، والذي لا تتوفر فيه الشروط ليس له أخذه، وليس له أن يكذب، إنما يأخذ الضمان من كان من أهله، من توافرت فيه الشروط المطلوبة، أما الذي يكذب ويزعم أنه فقير، أو تزعم أنها ليست بذات زوج وهي ذات زوج وما أشبه ذلك فليس له أخذ ذلك، الحاصل أنه لا يجوز أخذ الضمان إلا للذي توافرت فيه الشروط الذي وضعتها الدولة، هذا هو الواجب عليه، الواجب أن يتقي الله المؤمن وأن يحذر أخذ شيءٍ لا يحل له والله المستعان.
Labels: Ibn Baz
0 comments Posted by أم حذيفة حياة لأندلسية at 19:18
A Woman Requests a Khula' from the Husband then Finds Out that She is Pregnant
Question: May Allāh bless you, O our Shaykh. We have a question, if you will. A woman sought a Khula' from her husband and the husband granted it. However, after a week the woman found out that she was pregnant. What is upon them and what is the ruling on their marriage?
Answer: The Khula' is correct and the affair is over. She is pregnant now so it is not permissible for her to marry until she gives birth to the child. This is all that is required from her.
Once she gives birth she can marry. As for the Khula', it is sound and the affair has ended.
Translated by Raha Batts
Audio: Telegram group
Good manners in gatherings
Trans. Raha Batts
Imdād Al-Muslim 1/189
قال العلامة عبيد الجابري حفظه الله:
من الخصال الجميلة والسجايا الحميدة عدم التصدر للمسائل إذا كان في المجلس أسنان القوم وفضلاؤهم، ويجب تقييد هذا بالمسائل العادية التي لا يفوت بعدم الكلام فيها مصلحة شرعية يجب بيانها على من أدركها من المذاكرة
إمداد المسلم (١/ ١٨٩)
0 comments Posted by أم حذيفة حياة لأندلسية at 15:25
The Ruling on Using Internet Matrimonial Websites and Forums
Question: There are some matrimonial Internet websites. These sites assist those looking for marriage. What is the ruling on women who are searching for marriage using these sites and what is the legislative manner of searching for marriage and the woman presenting herself for marriage?
Answer: May Allāh bless you, this way is traversed upon by most of the people of falsehood, and they use them to prey upon women and commit corruption thereafter. I do not advise the Salafī man nor the Salafī woman to utilize this means. She is to simply make it known amongst her sisters and brothers that she is looking for a righteous husband; likewise, the man is to make it known amongst his brothers and sisters that she is looking for a righteous wife, and supplicate to Allāh, the Exalted, for Tawfīq. And Allāh's Aid is sought.
Translated by Raha Batts
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