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Expensive dowries, wedding parties and the "honeymoon"

What is your opinion on expensive dowries and extravagance in wedding parties, especially preparations for what is called the honeymoon, which includes high expenses? Does Islam approve of this?

He (may Allah have mercy on him) replied:

Expensive dowries and extravagance in wedding parties are things that are contrary to sharee‘ah. The most blessed marriage is that which is affordable; the less the expenses are, the greater the blessings. This is something that in most cases is the fault of women, because women are the ones who force their husbands to pay for expensive parties that are not allowed in sharee‘ah. This is something that is included in the words of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted (interpretation of the meaning): “…but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allâh) likes not Al-Musrifûn (those who waste by extravagance)” [al-A‘raaf 7:31]. Many women force their husbands to do that and say “So and so had such and such in her party” and so on.

But what is required in such matters is to act in the way prescribed in Islam and not overstep that mark or be extravagant, because Allah – may He be glorified and exalted – has forbidden extravagance and has said that He does not like those who waste by extravagance.

With regard to what is called the “honeymoon”, it is even worse and more reprehensible, because it is an imitation of the non-Muslims and it is a great waste of money. It also leads to neglect of many religious matters, especially if this time is spent in a non-Muslim country, after which they come back with habits and customs that are harmful to them and to their society. These are matters which are dangerous to the ummah. But if the man were to travel with his wife to do ‘Umrah or to visit Madinah, there is nothing wrong with that, in sha Allah.

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/176

س - ما رأيكم في غلاء المهور والإسراف في حفلات الزواج خاصة الإعداد لما يقال عنه " شهر العسل " بما فيه من 
تكاليف باهظة . هل الشرع يقر هذا ؟

ج- إن المغالاة في المهور وفي الحفلات كل ذلك مخالف للشرع فإن أعظم النكاح بركة أيسره مؤونة وكلما قلت المؤونة عظمت البركة ، وهذا أمر يرجع في أكثر الأحيان إلى النساء لأن النساء هن اللاتي يحملن أزواجهن على المغالاة في الحفلات مما نهى عنه الشرع وهو يدخل تحت قوله - سبحانه وتعالى - " ولا تسرفوا إنه لا يحب المسرفين " . وكثير من النساء يحملن أزواجهن على ذلك أيضاً ، ويقلن إن حفل فلان حدث به كذا وكذا ، ولكن الواجب في مثل هذا الأمر أن يكون الوجه المشروع ولا يتعدى فيه الإنسان حده ولا يسرف ، لأن الله - سبحانه وتعالى - نهى عن الإسراف وقال " إنه لا يحب المسرفين " . أما ما يقال عن شهر العسل فهو أخبث وأبغض لأنه تقليد لغير المسلمين وفيه إضاعة أموال كثيرة ، وفيه أيضا تضييع لكثير من أمور الدين خصوصاً إذا كان يقضى في بلاد غير إسلامية فإنهم يرجعون بعادات وتقاليد ضارة لهم ولمجتمعهم وهذه أمور يخشى منها على الأمة ، أما لو سافر الإنسان بزوجته للعمرة أو لزيارة المدينة فهذا لا بأس به إن شاء الله .

الشيخ ابن عثيمين

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